Today’s post is an interview with the author of Self-Care for the Self-Aware, Dave Markowitz. He is a Medical Intuitive who offers private sessions via Skype. If you haven’t read my book review post or heard me rave about this on periscope, I suggest you check out his website: www.davemarkowitz.com or my book review post to get some extra knowledge about this book…it’s really REALLY awesome for those who are sensitive. 🙂
Anyway. on to the interview!
You mention in your book the Return to Sender practice and how important it is, how often would you recommend an empathic person do this practice?
Ideally the preventative tools in the book should be done daily, or at minimum before engaging with any person(s) or situations that would normally be draining. The Return to Sender exercise, however, is more for healing what’s already been accumulated. Because its effects are often so intense and the shift so dramatic, it can require a few days or even a few weeks to integrate it all. When that feels done, you can do another round.
Is it possible to become ungrounded after doing this kind of practice for a long period of time? If so what would you recommend people do?
By doing the steps in my book, one should become more grounded. Our tendency is to live “out there” because what’s here in the 3D world can be so painful. So, we need to stay mindful of this and take active steps to stay in our bodies. HSP-specific nutrition and exercise are helpful, as are any grounding techniques anyone finds effective, in addition to the work that I do.
This year is going to be challenging and sensitive people may feel supremely bombarded by global events, what do you recommend to help their energy levels as this year commences?
Just like we can’t get the maximum nutrition from even the best of foods if we’re inhaling our food, we can’t be in our bodies or present enough to be guided well while being rushed, stressed, or overly attached to the collective unconsciousness. For me, I was guided to increase my meditations from 1 hour a day to 2 hours a day. I can’t say I do so every day, but I can feel a huge difference when I do.
And may I add, meditation sometimes is just a matter of sitting still, no cellphone, etc., and being with whatever exists in that moment. I don’t use any fancy techniques nor am I attached to having a blissful experience. It’s just a time to be. To feel. This in turn increases my connection to Source, which I trust sends me the right guidance at the right time. But if I’m too in my head or rushing around, I’ll miss the messages. Best thing to do? Slow down.
Is it possible to build energetic resilience through the use of your practices? Or are they more clearing methods? (by energetic resilience I mean being able to handle harsh or stressful situations feeling less overwhelmed and drained)
The preventative techniques are as important as the healing work. If I (or anyone) were able to do really powerful energy healing work for someone but they’re still a sponge after the session, or worse, not empowered with effective tools, they’re going to re-create what’s just been cleared. This leads to the proverbial hamster wheel of healing¾always looking for the next book, workshop or practitioner for example. By stressing the importance of prevention and sharing doable tools, my clients feel empowered enough to step into the situations they’d normally avoid.
True growth can’t happen on the mental level. Understanding is great, but application is better.
What can young sensitives start doing on a daily basis to manage their energy levels?
We should practice determining if we’re operating from our pattern or our truth. The pattern is the subconscious mind’s ideas that are most often adopted from others and our truth is our higher, inner knowing. By consciously asking ourselves where we are, we can better determine how to be in the now. Eventually, this asking becomes second nature. It’s not like we’ll never have a “negative thought again; that’s an unrealistic expectation that will only lead to more self-criticism because no one can achieve that without being in denial. It’s more a matter of present-moment awareness and choosing the best course of action in the moment. Intuiting higher awareness will increase one’s energy flow dramatically, whereas living in the patterns typically lead to burnout, pain and illness.
What’s your message to someone who is only now just learning about their sensitivity?
For starters, I’d say, “Congratulations!” Then I’d add, “You’ve chosen the more difficult path for you to grow at a very high speed. Your work is needed here. Even though you’ve felt very alone and unsure, there are steps you can take to help this process go more smoothly. And although you may have thought that being sensitive is a chore or even a burden, I assure you, with a little bit of fine-tuning, it can also be fun, healing and even rewarding!”
What’s one thing you’d like people to know about this work?
There is hope. I feel that there isn’t much worse than hopelessness. Too many feel there’s nothing they can do because things they’ve tried haven’t worked. That only means they haven’t found the right path, modality, or opportunity yet. Key word is “yet.” Stay persistent. If you’re an HSP and are looking for help from someone who doesn’t get that, good luck. It’s going to be frustrating at best. Find someone who’s healed or even thrived as an HSP. If they can do it, so can you. Always know, there is hope.
When the news broke back in November that Trump won, I and those I was closest to, fell into the depression and fear of what this meant for our country going forward. When the dust settled and the initial stages of grief wore down, I took solace in the messages of those in the spiritual community such as Teal Swan and Matt Khan.
This helped me realize just how much the world needs open hearted people right now. The election, as bitter and harsh as it was, brought to light many issues within our country. And while I will NOT go into political details in this post, it’s clear that our assumptions we once had about the direction of our country have now had this light of clarity shown upon them.
The point is, if we are going to come together and heal, we need to do so with compassion and open ears. We as Sensitive people need to hold space when others speak their opinions. We need to reclaim our personal power by creating change in our own lives. We must stop relying on outside leaders to steer the country towards a brighter horizon. As the Captain of our Souls, Masters of our Minds, we must begin to train ourselves, our mindsets into seeing the opportunities for healing that will present themselves.
As ambassadors of the emotional language, it’s our responsibility to hold ourselves accountable to the message and purpose our soul’s carry.
Doreen Virtue released her yearly annual card reading for 2017 where she speaks about this:
How can we as Empaths best build up our resilience to things as opposed to trying to shut ourselves off from harsh experiences of the world?
Among my personal experience, online articles I’ve read here and there and conversations with other Sensitives about common unconscious habits, I’ve noticed that shutting ourselves away from the world when it becomes too overwhelming is a common way to escape, re-center and return less stressed.
But do we still have that luxury today? The world, it seems, has grown harsher. We can try to escape, find refuge in our homes and sacred spaces, but if you’re like me, the stress of wanting to do SOMETHING to help the world gnaws at you. Is it possible to stand in the face of something we fear, something we stress over and be able to turn it into something that makes us stronger?
Can we adapt our self-care so it not only brings us inner peace and a sense of safety but also helps us to reclaim our power? Our voice?
Helps us realize the force of our intentions with our actions?
Is it possible that our gift can be honored through dark days by tapping into the power that it holds to change the world?
Deep questions? I know, and complicated ones that I’m only just starting to ask myself.
One way I’ve discovered how to let myself grow and become more flexible and resilient is by looking within myself and seeing where I hold my fear, stress and tension. When memories or events I remember/see before me make my stomach turn, I try to take some time to sit with the discomfort. When I can see it and be with it face to face while allowing the energy to pass, to flow, the more I feel like myself instead of a frazzled, and highly overwhelmed gal.
This was something I learned from Kiana Love, after establishing my grounding cord in my morning practice.
Let it Flow:
I breathe down into the cord whenever I feel stressed or upset by something.
My intention isn’t to try and STOP or GET OVER what I’m feeling but to let myself feel it while allowing the energy to flow.
This practice leaves me feeling refreshed and less antsy. I also tune into my inner child to see how she’s doing and give her extra support and care if she so needs.
When I try to STOP myself from feeling something it only adds resistance and takes me LONGER to move through it.
I have been known to run as freaking far away from something when it scares me, I used to try and stay in my perfect little positivity bubble, thinking that the more I thought about good things, the less of a stressful place the world would be. (This only made me more stressed when I sank into worry, fear or depression).
I still slip into these habits, there is definitely stuff out there in today’s day and age that I would prefer NOT to ever see, but ultimately it’s there and as much as I try to ignore it, the more it will show up to teach me about my power and the depth of my empathic heart.
Wow I can’t even believe how fast this year went, and yet I think it hasn’t ended fast enough what with all the highs and lows that have transpired in the last few months. I have been rejuvenating and taking a step back from the blog and social media as I have been taking time for myself and working like crazy! The past 4 1/2 months have been filled with deeper self-exploration, travel, self-care, dedicated work ethic, job hunting and surrendering to the new person I am emerging.
I have found that peace is much closer than I realized, learning to be grateful for what I do have is crucial in order for me not to lose my mind and the more I take stock of my life around me, the more content I feel. I have learned there is a deeper strength within me that resides in the quiet, introverted and compassionate person. With the powers of empathy, I can see how much of what my gifts are are needed in this world.
I’ve been saying this for quite sometime on this blog, but the more acts of violence I have seen have further pushed me into mentioning it more. Our world is changing, it always is, and it will always need those with open hearts and compassion to help move it forward. Our gifts and abilities matter, I’d even say a great deal more now than ever. From Standing Rock’s #NODAPL battle to the election of Trump, we all need to begin to see and understand our value, worth and abilities. I will be here standing with you as we venture out into the new year. This blessed wonderful energetic start to something more magical and unknown.
I think, one of the hardest things to shake/unlearn/stop doing as a HSP, is putting immense expectations on myself. It’s one of the most excruciating avenues of disappointment, especially when it comes to working hard. Which, by the way, I see being toted EVERYWHERE and for good reason…
I come from a family of immigrants. Grandparents that hail from Colombia and El Salvador, who came to this country to give their kids a better life than their war-torn and poor countries ever could.
Both my grandparents and my parents worked hard to get themselves out of poverty and into the middle class. My parents had to learn English and assimilate quickly. They hustled to achieve grades that would help them get scholarships to college and then start their careers.
Alongside my family, currently, ours is a generation of new ways of working, creating and branding. As such I found amazing brands that grew from humble beginnings.
I’ve read soooo many blog posts on starting/working on your own business, from social media marketing to blog posts, to newsletters and which apps are free, cheap, and give you the most bang for your buck.
It’s not to say I don’t value hard work, heck, it’s BECAUSE of the hustle and struggle that my family got to where they are, these entrepreneurs were able to create their own income and have their passions/intentions bloom in such an amazing way.
But I’ve come to realize: I EXPECTED that overworking myself would yield the results I wanted. So my self-care took a back seat…if the back seat, in this case, didn’t exist.
The hardest part for me about being a HSP is coming to terms with the fact that I will experience burn out more frequently unless I regularly care for myself…as in I can’t go hardcore, the way I want AND expect myself to.
I have been learning about running a website for the past year, in that time I’ve learned and read quite a lot of helpful info, throwing myself into learning how I could expand my site’s capabilities and reach through social media, SEO, hashtags, ads and apps.
I wrote on dozens of worksheets to help me gain clarity, printed out PDFs chock full of info and bought/signed up for webinars and online classes to learn more about marketing and content creation.
While it’s been a whirlwind of fun, the amount of stress and expectation I put into the work I was doing, the expectation that it would amount to SOMETHING, and wanting to see the progress NOW, SOON, TODAY (oh impatient Aries that I am) no doubt contributed to the burnout I had back in April-May of this year.
Coming out of it took a while and I wanted to jump right back into writing 2-3 posts a week, even if it was hard for me. My logic went something like this:
I’m young, I should have tons of energy,
I’ll bounce back, I’ll be fine again
Hey no pain no gain right?
I’ll never get anywhere if I don’t put my blood sweat and tears into this
_______ says if I don’t put up regular work nothing will happen
Is this normal?
If it’s too easy, I won’t earn other’s respect
It hasn’t even been a year yet! Shouldn’t I be burnt out by the 3rd year?
The familial + societal tie to this belief (if you don’t work hard, how will you succeed/get ahead/see results?) is what contributed to my so fiercely proving to myself that I had the work capabilities of those who came before me. But I had had different experiences, passions, interests and callings.
And if I wanted to create a community for sensitives that advocated for self-care, self-awareness and embodied living, I needed to do that same for myself and be an ACTIVE agent in it.
As I was reading The Highly Sensitive Person by Elain Aron, she mentions how a HSP body is wired differently. Our nervous system gets easily aroused (not sexual!) which can show up in a variety of ways for everyone.
Physical reactions can occur in some people, while others may show little to no physical signs of it. An example of this is a reaction to stress. Elaine writes “Our response to stress is to become aroused.”
After putting pen to paper regularly for months and sometimes even forgetting to eat in the midst of writing, updating, reading or editing, getting headaches from overthinking what I wanted to say and analyzing every little detail, it’s no wonder why my body felt completely drained by the spring.
Being a HSP means I need to be aware when my body needs rest. It’s a practice and challenge to not be so hard on myself.
Pssst! this post is a great read for creating a season of rest.
The times when I don’t do a job application because other things need to be handled or I don’t scope or do a blog post that day because I was too tired and drained from the day before.
The truth is, I’m still learning to listen to my body, as her energy levels are key for me to get anything done at all.
Lately, I’ve been shopping at thrift stores. It’s an interesting experience because years ago when I first attempted to shop at a few, I couldn’t shake the feelings I got upon walking inside. It wasn’t until I realized that I was sensitive, and I began to put the pieces together.
I was picking up the residual energies of the previous owners (let me remind you that these were my “pre-grounding as a daily practice” days) so no wonder I always felt so weird in there. Before, I would walk around and try to focus on my task at hand, finding a pair of pants or a shirt, maybe gloves or a scarf I could wear for the upcoming season.
It was kind of infuriating, not so much because I was constantly looking for my size, but because it was so damn hard to focus on the end goal. No matter what my initial intention was, I’d sort of get lost in my own emotions and mind. I’d suddenly worry if there was a tragic story or energy attached to the item I was looking for and I didn’t want to bring that home with me.
But because the prices were better and I was a college student, it was more wallet friendly.
Last week I indulged in alone time for the first time in about 4 years. I had bits and pieces of it throughout college, but never really felt I could really “turn off” because of the workload encompassed by homework, internships, friendships and work.
Interestingly enough, while I did not fully drop off the grid, it finally dawned on me that this is what so many articles on the internet are talking about when they say “Empaths, you need alone time!” “HSPs, you need alone time!” “Hey, hey you! Sensitive person! you need alone time!” (more…)
I feel shocked, disgusted and helpless about the tragedy in Orlando. I feel torn as a sensitive, overwhelmed, wanting to block it out and at the same time feeling it all and desperately wanting to help. Prayers, love and light just aren’t cutting it. Its not enough and I want to do something.
Dealing with the pain I feel and everyone else’s, no longer floors me now that I’m grounding and practicing self care. But I still get overwhelmed and am still figuring out what I’m feeling and how I’m affected.
Finally I understand why as a teenager I felt incredibly scared to be swallowed up whole by my anger, fear and depression. I realize it was because as a sensitive, emotions can easily override logical thoughts and you can find yourself unconsciously reacting (an example is emotional eating).(more…)
It’s been nearly a year since I started and kept up with my grounding practice (not gonna lie, there were some days I missed). During that time I began realizing that I was able to gauge my energy more and more. It became less confusing to tell when something or someone drained me and when I picked up vibes from others as opposed to thinking the oh so familiar “it was all in my head.”
I’ve been told that I’m very sensitive, I’ve also heard that those of us with this trait are becoming more sensitive as time goes on, which means our intuitive side will also continue to grow. Which then means that inevitably, you will be putting self-care regimens before anything else. (more…)
Periscoping every week has really helped inspire me to see what other topics I can talk about. Most recently, I had a scope where I explained the 3 Major Arcana tarot cards that cause fear and stress to us visually sensitive peeps.
Since it helped those who were on the scope (but I overshot the time limit by an hour *insert sweat drop smiling emoji here*) I figured I’d write about it here to share the clarity.
One thing to remember about tarot is that all the cards are symbolic of archetypes, and archetypes are not good or bad, they just are. (more…)