how to handle expectations

Dealing With Expectations As A HSP

I think, one of the hardest things to shake/unlearn/stop doing as a HSP, is putting immense expectations on myself.  It’s one of the most excruciating avenues of disappointment, especially when it comes to working hard.  Which, by the way, I see being toted EVERYWHERE and for good reason…

I come from a family of immigrants. Grandparents that hail from Colombia and El Salvador, who came to this country to give their kids a better life than their war-torn and poor countries ever could.

Both my grandparents and my parents worked hard to get themselves out of poverty and into the middle class.  My parents had to learn English and assimilate quickly.  They hustled to achieve grades that would help them get scholarships to college and then start their careers.

Alongside my family, currently, ours is a generation of new ways of working, creating and branding. As such I found amazing brands that grew from humble beginnings.

My idols, favorite startup brands and online bloggers like Louise Hay, Jeffree Star Cosmetics, by Regina and Fire + Wind Co. have worked their butts off to create brands that reflect themselves, their beliefs and heart’s intentions.

I’ve read soooo many blog posts on starting/working on your own business, from social media marketing to blog posts, to newsletters and which apps are free, cheap, and give you the most bang for your buck.

It’s not to say I don’t value hard work, heck, it’s BECAUSE of the hustle and struggle that my family got to where they are, these entrepreneurs were able to create their own income and have their passions/intentions bloom in such an amazing way.

But I’ve come to realize: I EXPECTED that overworking myself would yield the results I wanted. So my self-care took a back seat…if the back seat, in this case, didn’t exist.

The hardest part for me about being a HSP is coming to terms with the fact that I will experience burn out more frequently unless I regularly care for myself…as in I can’t go hardcore, the way I want AND expect myself to.

I have been learning about running a website for the past year, in that time I’ve learned and read quite a lot of helpful info, throwing myself into learning how I could expand my site’s capabilities and reach through social media, SEO, hashtags, ads and apps.

I wrote on dozens of worksheets to help me gain clarity, printed out PDFs chock full of info and bought/signed up for webinars and online classes to learn more about marketing and content creation.

The worksheets I wrote on, and no that’s not all of them.

While it’s been a whirlwind of fun, the amount of stress and expectation I put into the work I was doing, the expectation that it would amount to SOMETHING, and wanting to see the progress NOW, SOON, TODAY (oh impatient Aries that I am) no doubt contributed to the burnout I had back in April-May of this year.

Coming out of it took a while and I wanted to jump right back into writing 2-3 posts a week, even if it was hard for me.  My logic went something like this:

  • I’m young, I should have tons of energy,
  • I’ll bounce back, I’ll be fine again
  • Hey no pain no gain right?
  • I’ll never get anywhere if I don’t put my blood sweat and tears into this
  • _______ says if I don’t put up regular work nothing will happen
  • Is this normal?
  • If it’s too easy, I won’t earn other’s respect
  • It hasn’t even been a year yet! Shouldn’t I be burnt out by the 3rd year?

The familial + societal tie to this belief (if you don’t work hard, how will you succeed/get ahead/see results?) is what contributed to my so fiercely proving to myself that I had the work capabilities of those who came before me.  But I had had different experiences, passions, interests and callings.

And if I wanted to create a community for sensitives that advocated for self-care, self-awareness and embodied living, I needed to do that same for myself and be an ACTIVE agent in it.

As I was reading The Highly Sensitive Person by Elain Aron, she mentions how a HSP body is wired differently.  Our nervous system gets easily aroused (not sexual!) which can show up in a variety of ways for everyone.

Physical reactions can occur in some people, while others may show little to no physical signs of it. An example of this is a reaction to stress.   Elaine writes “Our response to stress is to become aroused.”

After putting pen to paper regularly for months and sometimes even forgetting to eat in the midst of writing, updating, reading or editing, getting headaches from overthinking what I wanted to say and analyzing every little detail, it’s no wonder why my body felt completely drained by the spring.

Being a HSP means I need to be aware when my body needs rest.  It’s a practice and challenge to not be so hard on myself.

Pssst! this post is a great read for creating a season of rest.

The times when I don’t do a job application because other things need to be handled or I don’t scope or do a blog post that day because I was too tired and drained from the day before.

The truth is, I’m still learning to listen to my body, as her energy levels are key for me to get anything done at all.

Are you wearing yourself out with work?  Take a moment now, close your eyes and breathe deeply, what does your body feel?

how to thrift if you're energetically sensitive

A Sensitive’s Guide To Thrift Stores

Lately, I’ve been shopping at thrift stores.  It’s an interesting experience because years ago when I first attempted to shop at a few, I couldn’t shake the feelings I got upon walking inside.  It wasn’t until I realized that I was sensitive, and I began to put the pieces together.

I was picking up the residual energies of the previous owners (let me remind you that these were my “pre-grounding as a daily practice” days) so no wonder I always felt so weird in there.  Before, I would walk around and try to focus on my task at hand, finding a pair of pants or a shirt, maybe gloves or a scarf I could wear for the upcoming season.

It was kind of infuriating, not so much because I was constantly looking for my size, but because it was so damn hard to focus on the end goal.  No matter what my initial intention was, I’d sort of get lost in my own emotions and mind.  I’d suddenly worry if there was a tragic story or energy attached to the item I was looking for and I didn’t want to bring that home with me.

But because the prices were better and I was a college student, it was more wallet friendly.

Continue reading “A Sensitive’s Guide To Thrift Stores”

how to be alone

The Benefits of Alone Time

Last week I indulged in alone time for the first time in about 4 years.  I had bits and pieces of it throughout college, but never really felt I could really “turn off” because of the workload encompassed by homework, internships, friendships and work.

Interestingly enough, while I did not fully drop off the grid, it finally dawned on me that this is what so many articles on the internet are talking about when they say “Empaths, you need alone time!”  “HSPs, you need alone time!” “Hey, hey you! Sensitive person! you need alone time!” Continue reading “The Benefits of Alone Time”

no emotion is a wasted emotion, in the aftermath of the Orlando tragedy

No Emotion Is A Wasted Emotion

I feel shocked, disgusted and helpless about the tragedy in Orlando.  I feel torn as a sensitive, overwhelmed, wanting to block it out and at the same time feeling it all and desperately wanting to help.  Prayers, love and light just aren’t cutting it.  Its not enough and I want to do something.

Dealing with the pain I feel and everyone else’s, no longer floors me now that I’m grounding and practicing self care.  But I still get overwhelmed and am still figuring out what I’m feeling and how I’m affected.   

Finally I understand why as a teenager I felt incredibly scared to be swallowed up whole by my anger, fear and depression.  I realize it was because as a sensitive, emotions can easily override logical thoughts and you can find yourself unconsciously reacting (an example is emotional eating). Continue reading “No Emotion Is A Wasted Emotion”

How sensitive am I

How Sensitive Are You?

It’s been nearly a year since I started and kept up with my grounding practice (not gonna lie, there were some days I missed). During that time I began realizing that I was able to gauge my energy more and more.  It became less confusing to tell when something or someone drained me and when I picked up vibes from others as opposed to thinking the oh so familiar “it was all in my head.”

I’ve been told that I’m very sensitive, I’ve also heard that those of us with this trait are becoming more sensitive as time goes on, which means our intuitive side will also continue to grow. Which then means that inevitably, you will be putting self-care regimens before anything else. Continue reading “How Sensitive Are You?”


3 Of The Most Feared Tarot Cards Explained

Periscoping every week has really helped inspire me to see what other topics I can talk about.  Most recently, I had a scope where I explained the 3 Major Arcana tarot cards that cause fear and stress to us visually sensitive peeps.

Since it helped those who were on the scope (but I overshot the time limit by an hour *insert sweat drop smiling emoji here*) I figured I’d write about it here to share the clarity.

One thing to remember about tarot is that all the cards are symbolic of archetypes, and archetypes are not good or bad, they just are. Continue reading “3 Of The Most Feared Tarot Cards Explained”

interview on mind alterrling drugs

Sensitive Souls Speak featuring Essence Mahkato

I love hearing stories of other’s experiences.  It reminds me that we all have our own unique perspective on what happened to us.  When I was in college I was a stickler for sans drugs.  “Just Say No,” was bombarded into me all throughout grammar school and even bits of high school, plus I had a family history of alcoholism on both sides.  Needless to say, I distrusted anything that would alter my state of mind.

When college rolled around, I met people who had a different opinion on substances like marijuana and I also met Essence Mahkato (love her epic name!) who shared with me what she learned going through her journey using strong plants.  She helped me understand that intention is key and having a willingness to be open to understanding what comes up helps.  I wanted her to share her experience as a sensitive person who has gone on different journeys with different plants and what she has learned/experienced. Continue reading “Sensitive Souls Speak featuring Essence Mahkato”


How To Surrender To Life Without Tearing Your Hair Out

Lately I’ve been taking things slow.  As an Aries, slowing down has always been my Achilles heel.  I’m the kind of person who prefers  getting things done N-O-W.  Perhaps you can relate? Anyway, the message that keeps coming up for me lately is to continue to take things slow, get myself away from the computer/TV (*cough, cough* YouTube) and get out into nature, play with more color and just indulge in my inner child.

In short, I am to surrender to my current experience.

A common spiritual teaching, I know, but how many of us actually WANT to hear this when we are in a situation that may not be ideal in our heads?

Roll the clip Continue reading “How To Surrender To Life Without Tearing Your Hair Out”

what to do with a new tarot deck

How To Tarot: Bonding With A New Deck

Recently I got a new card deck for my birthday called Spirit de la Lune.  A while back I had originally made the personal choice to no longer buy oracle decks and to invest solely in tarot.  I had this idea that oracle cards are like training wheels when you first begin your journey as a cartomancer (“reader of cards,” and yes I just looked that up) and tarot was like going for your bachelor’s, and mastering each meaning behind the cards including crazy strong decks like Thoth tarot was like getting your Master’s and PhD.

Let’s rewind to a few weeks back, I was browsing through the Internet at my job and found myself surfing through that Vortex of links that leads you from one web page to another when I saw a picture of these intricate cards

wolf moon, oracle cards

moon oracle cards

Originally I thought they were tarot cards but after reading the description I realized I was wrong.  However, their beauty and their energy was just too beautiful NOT to have and so I decided to throw caution to the wind and buy them.  So this post will be both a review/ermagawd gush of this deck.

These cards are super Gorgeous (that’s right, with a capital G!) I love that there are 3 components within the deck itself, the different moon phases, moondalas, and zodiac signs within the cards.  Another feature I love (tarot and oracle cards in general) is the extra words that are under the cards. I see it as an extra hint the angels give me on top of what they tell me during a reading.

The images are wonderfully soft and gentle, there is nothing harsh to see in these cards (which, if you follow me, you know that that’s a HUGE aspect in my buying decision!)  The cost of this deck is $45 BUT comes with the guidebook, a card cloth/bag AND a silver tin to carry your cards in.  (I got my first card bag ever thanks to them!)

The elements are portrayed here (as seen by the triangles next to the words) and if you’re unfamiliar with them or the moon phases and what they mean, there are 2 cards within the deck that offer simple explanation.  There is also a simple prayer that invokes the intention of this deck as well (also in another card).

This deck has wonderful, sweet, magical moon energy associated with it and asks that you work with the energy of the moon such as doing readings under the moon, using moonlight to cleanse the deck, and understanding your cycle with in tandem with the moon’s.  I recommend this deck to anyone who wants to start creating a closer connection with the moon.

So far the readings with these cards have been accurate when I read for myself and I am excited to continue to use them and see where they will lead me.  I sense moon rituals and readings are to come in the future!

There is a gentle energy with this deck and I really commend the creators Marissa Massie and Rachael Caringella, for their clear vision and intent for their cards.  I can feel it!

If you’ve been wanting to have more of a connection with the moon, these cards can be used as a tool to cultivate more knowledge about it’s cycles and if you want to learn more, visit the website

Annnd if you want a closer look at these cards, come follow me on periscope @sensitivesspeak where I do live one card readings for people! 

how to survive rush hour in nyc

A Sensitive’s Guide to Surviving the NYC Commute

If you live in the tri-state area like I do, or have ever come to this major city on vacation, visit, or a mission to shop, you know that getting here can sometimes be…ah, what’s the word?

Extreme (yes, with a capital E).

As a 20 something and teenager, I’ve had my fair share of rush hour commutes to and from work or early morning meetups as well as off-peak commutes on weekend dates with friends, family and the boyfriend.

Since I don’t have a car and refuse to pay toll and parking fees, I have become the commuter queen of my family (give me a train schedule and map and I’ll dissect that sucker down or ask questions about it consistently).  As someone who loves to travel, I take pride in the fact that I am a sensitive, who’s love for adventure has not died despite being overwhelmed by the world and other’s energies. Continue reading “A Sensitive’s Guide to Surviving the NYC Commute”